Mabait ba ko? O sadyang napakatanga/napaka-uto ko lang talaga s Pag-ibig??
Sumasagi na nman sa isipan ko ung incident na yun. actually, araw araw naman e. kwento ko n nga... kaw, kelan ka nagkaron ng boyfriend/girlfriend? kelan mo naramdaman ang talagang first love?
ako, nung 4th year high school. maganda ba ung takbo ng relationship namin? parang di ko masagot, ang hirap.. makulay, madrama... araw araw yata nag-aaway kami pero nagiging ok din nman. 4th year ako, second year sya. Maraming hadlang.. gusto ako ng pamilya nya. pamilya ko, hindi sya gusto. ang hirap.. pinaglalaban ko.. di ako pinapakinggan. haaaaayyyyy buhaaaaayyyy. hanggang sa maghiwalay kmi sa simpleng dahilan. ayoko ko nang i-elaborate, baka mainis ka lang. So STOP.
Back to reality. Aaminin ko, dati talaga gusto ko pa rin sya, hanggang nung May 2006. Pero unti unti nang nagdissolve yun sa isang pangyayari na hinding hindi ko na uulitin. Ok, meron kaming communication, tawag...txt. Ako yung humahanap ng paraan para lang makapagkita kami, sabihin na nating isang "DATE". Pero sya palagi ang hindi puede. Nagpromise ako s kanya na magdedeyt kmi. Gusto ko kasi sya ulit masilayan at mapakinggan kung ano na ang nangyayari sa buhay nya, may bago ba? nagbago ba ugali nya? sana Oo. sana "RENEWED" n sya.
Palabas ang X MEN: the last Stand. Gusto kong manood. sya ang unang taong pumasok sa isip ko. gusto ko syang yayain. tnxt ko sya, tinawagan. Ok tuloy kami. dinner, nood ng sine, starbucks at kailangan may something daw n kailangan akong ibigay sa kanya, souvenir kung baga. ok, sige. budget ko sa date na un 2K.ok na yun cguro. susunduin ko pa sya sa UP.
Dumating ang pinakahihintay ko na araw. binilisan ko na ang kilos ko para wag masyadong gabihin pero pagdating sa Ayala Station, Holy Smokes! ang daming tao! sige, tiis lng. pagkapasok ko s MRT, kaagad ko syang tinext, tinanong nya kung nasan na ko. naaawa sya sa kin, d na kmi sa UP magkikita, sa Quezon Ave na lang sa may McDo. Buti na lang!
Di ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko nung makita ko sya.. d ako makahinga, nanlalamig ako.. kabado. hehe. ok, MRT ulit going to Ayala. Sa MRT pa lang, ang dami ng kwento, sari sari.
Pagdating sa Ayala, nag-aya na ng dinner. nagsuggest ako sa krodile grille, ayaw nya dun, kadiri daw.
ha?! bkit kadiri dun??? nakataas kilay ko. alam mo ba kung saan ako inaya? Sa DAD's.
hindi ko nman alam ang price dun, kaya cge ok lng. nsa isip ko nun: ok lang para maiba nman. umupo kmi sa resto. naghintay ng waiter. tpos nung oorder na, sabi nya "Crossover". in conclusion, di ko nagustuhan ang food, sabihin na natin sa iba siguro o sa mga taong katulad nya ok yung food, pero sa akin, hindi e. iba iba naman ang gusto natin. nagimbal ako nung dumating na ang bill. tumataginting na 1500+ ung nakain nmin. ang budget ko sa date na yun ay 2K lng d ba? nainis ako sa kanya nung sinasabi ko na yung budget ko, tinatakpan nya yung tenga nya. ayaw nyang makinig sa kin. naiinis ka na ba?
buti na lang talaga may extra money ako na dala. pagkatapos nun, nagsuggest ako, kasi nasa glorietta naman din kmi, bkit hindi pa kami dun na lang manood, d ba? pero sabi nya, ayaw nya, sa Greenbelt na lang raw. ok sige pa rin. to be continued...
Monday, July 31, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Got Away..
I got my new shoes na! Rusty Lopez. Wala kasing Mendrez. namili talaga ako ng todo sa Landmark. hehe. sana tumagal to.
I just want to share this essay. ewan ko ba, natamaan yata ako, baka pati ikaw matamaan ka rin. sinend lang to ng kaibigan ko dito sa work sa email. ang subject nya sa mail: Wala lang.
"In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you Shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that got away.Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect,but the timing was just wrong.There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry,but the cards just didn't fall the right way,I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settledown and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work.
Small problems become big;in consequentials become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows.It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact.Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense,it really will.So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want,and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived.
And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come.Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship,you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were togethernow, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that gotaway is. The biggest"What if?" you'll have in your life.If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away.
Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it.Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a"might have been," but it happens.Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him,find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder,that if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie,it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference.If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that ALMOST got away."
I just want to share this essay. ewan ko ba, natamaan yata ako, baka pati ikaw matamaan ka rin. sinend lang to ng kaibigan ko dito sa work sa email. ang subject nya sa mail: Wala lang.
"In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you Shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that got away.Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect,but the timing was just wrong.There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry,but the cards just didn't fall the right way,I suppose.
I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settledown and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work.
Small problems become big;in consequentials become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows.It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact.Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense,it really will.So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want,and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived.
And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come.Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship,you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were togethernow, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that gotaway is. The biggest"What if?" you'll have in your life.If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away.
Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it.Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a"might have been," but it happens.Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.
But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him,find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder,that if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie,it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference.If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that ALMOST got away."
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Sapatos..
Bad trip talaga! Bakit pa kailangang masira yung sapatos ko ngayon. black. leather. pangangailangan. nung nakaraang abril o mayo (2006) ko pa lang yata nabili tong 'Francesco' shoes ko. sabi kasi ng bayaw ko, yun daw bilin ko kasi matibay daw. Hindi ko naman sinisi bayaw ko.. siguro malaki lang talaga mga paa ko.. ano dapat ang solusyon dyan? Bumili ng bago wag nang iparepair ang nasira. kailangan yung mura na, matibay pa at tatagal parang yung yumao ko na Mendrez. nagsasalita na sya ngayon. ang tagal din nming nagsama nun. magmula college, yun na sapatos ko. Kaya baka bilhin ko, Mendrez na lang ulit. o kaya nman Rusty Lopez. Sa uwian ako bibili, sa Landmark. cash? nope. credit card? yes. utang na naman!!!hehe
Isa pang bad trip ay yung pag uwi ko kahapon galing sa work. Umuulan ng malakas. Madilim ang kalangitan. Malakas ang hangin. Si Glenda kasi. Buti na lang last day na nya kahapon. Kasama pa nun, sina-sinusitis pa ko. Punuan pa sa bus. Tapos may bata pa, cguro mga 10 to 11 yrs. old un na napaka-ingay, kasama nya ung tatay nya pero kapag kausap nya ung tatay nya para bang isang bayan ang pagitan nila, lahat ng makita nya, sinisigaw nya. "May topak yata 'to" un ung nsa isip ko nun, kaya nilabas ko n lng ung mp3 player ko, nilakasan ko ung volume para hindi na ko mairita.
Tuloy ang biyahe, sa Makati pa lang, baha na. iniisip ko nun, pano pa kaya sa Dapitan?? Dapat matutulog ako sa biyahe, pero di ko nagawa.. bumabagabag talaga sa kin yung baha sa dapitan... nagtahan bridge na.. tuason.. loyola.. lacson.. piy margal (baha)...malapit na.. Bagoooommm!! Kailangan na ng jetski o bangka sa Dapitan.. Baha talaga! Ayokong maglusong..ayokong tanggalin ang sapatos ko. Habang tinatahak ng bus ang dapitan..pumunta n ko sa harapan, malapit sa driver.. sabi ko, ibaba na lang ako sa hindi baha. Buti na lang nagawa nung driver.. Binaba nya ko sa Shell gas sation, hindi baha..ayos!
Akala ko dun magtatapos ang baha.. lintik! yung street pala namin baha rin.. no choice.. lusong talaga! Yun malamang din ang dahilan kung bakit nasira yung sapatos ko. bad trip. pag akyat ko sa apartment ko. buwisit! may taeng pusa sa harap ng pintuan ng apartment ko.. no choice talaga.. kailangang tanggalin.. kahit na nandidiri ako, napakabaho pa naman..
Pagkatapos nun, nagpahinga muna ako sandali, nakinig ng music at nanuod ng balita.. haaayyyy... puro bad news.. wala na bang gud news??? SONA...mga estudayanteng nagrarally...mga OFW na naipit sa Lebanon at hindi makauwi dito sa Pinas... OFW na namatay... Ms. Universe na nahimatay..hehehe.. off ko n nga. magbabasa na lang ako.. uulitin kong basahin ang Tuesdays with Morrie.. at least dun may matutuhan akong maganda tungkol sa pagharap sa buhay.. zzzz
Sana naman pag uwi ko ngayon, ok na ang panahon. at sana wala ng taeng pusa sa apartment ko. hehe.. kailangan gmakahanap ng maganda at matibay na sapatos..
Isa pang bad trip ay yung pag uwi ko kahapon galing sa work. Umuulan ng malakas. Madilim ang kalangitan. Malakas ang hangin. Si Glenda kasi. Buti na lang last day na nya kahapon. Kasama pa nun, sina-sinusitis pa ko. Punuan pa sa bus. Tapos may bata pa, cguro mga 10 to 11 yrs. old un na napaka-ingay, kasama nya ung tatay nya pero kapag kausap nya ung tatay nya para bang isang bayan ang pagitan nila, lahat ng makita nya, sinisigaw nya. "May topak yata 'to" un ung nsa isip ko nun, kaya nilabas ko n lng ung mp3 player ko, nilakasan ko ung volume para hindi na ko mairita.
Tuloy ang biyahe, sa Makati pa lang, baha na. iniisip ko nun, pano pa kaya sa Dapitan?? Dapat matutulog ako sa biyahe, pero di ko nagawa.. bumabagabag talaga sa kin yung baha sa dapitan... nagtahan bridge na.. tuason.. loyola.. lacson.. piy margal (baha)...malapit na.. Bagoooommm!! Kailangan na ng jetski o bangka sa Dapitan.. Baha talaga! Ayokong maglusong..ayokong tanggalin ang sapatos ko. Habang tinatahak ng bus ang dapitan..pumunta n ko sa harapan, malapit sa driver.. sabi ko, ibaba na lang ako sa hindi baha. Buti na lang nagawa nung driver.. Binaba nya ko sa Shell gas sation, hindi baha..ayos!
Akala ko dun magtatapos ang baha.. lintik! yung street pala namin baha rin.. no choice.. lusong talaga! Yun malamang din ang dahilan kung bakit nasira yung sapatos ko. bad trip. pag akyat ko sa apartment ko. buwisit! may taeng pusa sa harap ng pintuan ng apartment ko.. no choice talaga.. kailangang tanggalin.. kahit na nandidiri ako, napakabaho pa naman..
Pagkatapos nun, nagpahinga muna ako sandali, nakinig ng music at nanuod ng balita.. haaayyyy... puro bad news.. wala na bang gud news??? SONA...mga estudayanteng nagrarally...mga OFW na naipit sa Lebanon at hindi makauwi dito sa Pinas... OFW na namatay... Ms. Universe na nahimatay..hehehe.. off ko n nga. magbabasa na lang ako.. uulitin kong basahin ang Tuesdays with Morrie.. at least dun may matutuhan akong maganda tungkol sa pagharap sa buhay.. zzzz
Sana naman pag uwi ko ngayon, ok na ang panahon. at sana wala ng taeng pusa sa apartment ko. hehe.. kailangan gmakahanap ng maganda at matibay na sapatos..
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
First Timer
Ewan ko ba kung ito na ang pinakauna at pinakahuli kong blog dito kasi everytime na pumupunta ko sa blog ko, makita ko pa lang ang mga words na "Create" and "Publish" tinatamad na ko, haaaaaayyyyy... kasi naman kailangan ko pang i-recall ang mga pangyayaring naganap sa araw araw kong pamumuhay.. ano nga ba ang mga nangyari sa kin ngaun?? mga nakakatuwa, nakakapanlumo at nakakatakot n mga tagpo?? hmmmmmm... ang dami talaga.. nagjajumble na sa isip ko..
Hangang hanga nga ako sa ibang blogger kasi ang gagaling nila... solid sa pag-iingles at talaga nmang mamamangha ka sa interface ng blog nila, sobrang astig... nakakatuwa... habang binabasa mo ang mga entries nila sa blog, mafifeel mo ang nararamdaman nila, matatawa ka minsan, malulungkot, maiinis, at maaawa. Mapapaisip ka na lang na napakasuwerte mo pa plang nilalang ka kasi hindi ka humaharap sa mga ganoong uri ng sitwasyon. Yung ibang bloggers nman, ang dami ngang sinasabi pero wala namang kwentang basahin, puro fiction.. Gusto ko totoo, bakit pa tayo mag-aaksaya ng oras sa paggawa ng blog kung hindi naman totoo ang mga nilalagay mo?? Yun na lang isipin mo. period.
Sabi ng kaibigan ko, way back nung college pa, gumawa raw ako ng blog. Sabi ko: "Ayoko!" waste of time lang yan.. pero sa totoo nyan, hirap na hirap akong gumawa ng mga pangungusap, hindi ko masulat ang gusto kong ipadama. hindi ko talaga trip gumawa ng blog, iniisip ko nung mga panahong yun, bkit ka pa kailangang magsulat tungkol sa buhay mo, e di lahat nkaalam na? wala ng privacy.
Pero mahirap din pala kung ung mga nararamdaman mo hindi mo nilalabas, masakit, minsan mageexplode ka na lang, makakasakit ka lang ng iba. sarili mo lang ang niloloko mo. may mga kaibigan ka rin nmang gustong malaman ang mga problema mo at sure naman na matutulungan ka nila..sana nga lang..
Kaya sa pamamagitan ng blog na 'to. Malalaman mo na kung sino talaga ko. ang kwento ng buhay ko. Mahahanap mo ang mga kasagutan sa mga katanungan.
Exciting 'to..
Start!!
Hangang hanga nga ako sa ibang blogger kasi ang gagaling nila... solid sa pag-iingles at talaga nmang mamamangha ka sa interface ng blog nila, sobrang astig... nakakatuwa... habang binabasa mo ang mga entries nila sa blog, mafifeel mo ang nararamdaman nila, matatawa ka minsan, malulungkot, maiinis, at maaawa. Mapapaisip ka na lang na napakasuwerte mo pa plang nilalang ka kasi hindi ka humaharap sa mga ganoong uri ng sitwasyon. Yung ibang bloggers nman, ang dami ngang sinasabi pero wala namang kwentang basahin, puro fiction.. Gusto ko totoo, bakit pa tayo mag-aaksaya ng oras sa paggawa ng blog kung hindi naman totoo ang mga nilalagay mo?? Yun na lang isipin mo. period.
Sabi ng kaibigan ko, way back nung college pa, gumawa raw ako ng blog. Sabi ko: "Ayoko!" waste of time lang yan.. pero sa totoo nyan, hirap na hirap akong gumawa ng mga pangungusap, hindi ko masulat ang gusto kong ipadama. hindi ko talaga trip gumawa ng blog, iniisip ko nung mga panahong yun, bkit ka pa kailangang magsulat tungkol sa buhay mo, e di lahat nkaalam na? wala ng privacy.
Pero mahirap din pala kung ung mga nararamdaman mo hindi mo nilalabas, masakit, minsan mageexplode ka na lang, makakasakit ka lang ng iba. sarili mo lang ang niloloko mo. may mga kaibigan ka rin nmang gustong malaman ang mga problema mo at sure naman na matutulungan ka nila..sana nga lang..
Kaya sa pamamagitan ng blog na 'to. Malalaman mo na kung sino talaga ko. ang kwento ng buhay ko. Mahahanap mo ang mga kasagutan sa mga katanungan.
Exciting 'to..
Start!!
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